Insomnia

So I've been having trouble falling asleep (and staying asleep) for the past week and a half, and it's been getting annoying. I lie down and no matter how tired I am, my mind is racing. Everyone says I must be stressed, and maybe so, but a lot of the things that had been stressing me out have passed. Still, I have to say that it's been funny, all the thoughts that pass through my head as I'm trying to fall asleep. Maybe I just need a notebook by my bed, except that all the ideas are so completely random, it would be hard to find any consistency in it. And the crazy dreams! At the worst, they're of me arguing with people or being annoyed at their invasion of my privacy. At the best, they're like two mornings ago, when I dreamed I had a big farm field where I owned one big, fat, prizewinning pig, who continually got out of the field by squeezing himself through the wires of the electric fencing (that part of the dream was entertaining; the end of it was a bit more disturbing, and completely unrelated to the pig). Once I do fall asleep, or when I'm in that wake-sleep limbo, it's like some weird creative side of my brain decides it's time for ideas. I'll compose songs in my head - lyrics and music and all. Of course, I forget them in the morning. I'll have entire conversations with people in dreams, as if I'm writing or reading some sort of movie script. I'll think of strange stories, almost like dreaming but more like narrating.

You think I'm nuts. Just WAIT.

This is the little snippet of a story I came up with when falling asleep last night. The only reason I remember it is because I really was in that limbo state, and "woke up" enough to remember what I'd been thinking...like remembering a dream, I guess. This would be a kickass story if I had the rest of it hidden in my brain somewhere. And I'm not kidding - the title was the first thing that popped into my brain, and the rest of the paragraph followed:

"Parasitic Advancements Towards the Moon: A Love Story

The world had reached 2011 A.D. by the time Marcus realized that he had lost all hope. Of course, all the changes they'd predicted had occured to some extent, but they weren't half bad. Sure, the oceans rose, but engineers just destroyed, lifted or moved the buildings that were most at risk. Waterfront property was as sought after as ever. The flu pandemic had been spread through schoolchildren worldwide, but was quickly brought under control with the discovery of a vaccine that significantly reduced one's vulnerability to viruses. This was also good news for the population rebound, since it helped offset the loss of 19 million people in the great Volcano-Earthquake-Tsunami triple-whammy that the planet dished out in January of 2009. By the time Marcus reached thirty-two and he'd lost all hope, the world was as secure a place as it had ever been. Poor Marcus - if only he'd gotten to the moon as he'd planned."

The only way you can read this is as if it's the first paragraph of a novel. I actually know where half of this is coming from - inspired by the book I'm trying to finish, My Ishmael, where the chapter deals with space travel and finding/studying/establishing other cultures. I know where it's going, too - grown out of the idea that humans are parasites, taking over things as we do. It might continue on as a story about this dude and his dashed hopes of becoming as successful a parasite as anyone else, by finally taking part in populating the moon, with a little bit of a love story thrown in for shits and giggles. ;-) And the detail that went into this composition isn't just the description itself - this was well planned! Why did the flu pandemic spread through schoolchildren? Well, because of their horrible hygeine, of course. I pictured snotty kids blowing their noses in their sleeves and wiping their hands across everything. I was sure that this would result in many deaths, so I had to include a way out and give us a prevention for most viruses - which convenienly allowed me to justify the deaths of 19 million others from some exciting natural disasters. I pictured the volcano-earthquake-tsunami disaster wiping out a huge swath of land between - get this - Baja California and southern Florida. (Sure, there might not be 19 million people there, but gimme a break - I had no time for research! ;) ) I pictured huge skyscrapers in coastal cities suddenly having their first 10 floors completely submerged by the ocean, but somehow we'd found a way to just use the rest of the building anyway, make a few new entrances, build a couple walkways or cart everyone out in a ferry, and up the rent for the 360 degree waterfront view. On top of all this, the dates and times and ages were all what first popped into my head - so don't go dreading January '09, I'm certain I'm not psychic. ;-) All this goes on while our poor protaganist Marcus sits idly in his office, feeling bad for himself that he didn't make it aboard on the first public relocations to the Moon. (Maybe this was all about feeling like you should be more personally satisfied with the things you choose do with your life, instead of sitting idly by in your office while everyone else has their adventures.)

I'm telling you...this is the crap that keeps me awake at night.

So I don't know what to do about this sleeping business, but writing more seems like a good idea. It's not something I do consistently anymore, but I need it just to get things off my mind. Or, I need to write the next great American Science Fiction novel, whichever comes first. (Shit, that damn NaNoWriMo I am remembering now...I wish I had it in me, but I've always been more of a short-story person. I suppose that's just as good. :) ) At least it makes for a funny blog, and gives me something to be creative at for an hour out of my day.

I'm not really sure that anything else is going to happen to Marcus, but he'll probably end up in unfinished storyland forever. :) And in the meantime my friends, I'm getting another cup of coffee.