Rachel Bissex lit up a room. Not just the stage, not just when she spoke or sang, not only when all eyes were on her. Even when we came to see her just two months ago, in her home, where she was playing cards with her son and winding down from a busy weekend, while she was coughing but laughing and talking of the future, even as all of those things went on around her and inside her, even then, she lit up a room.

I knew her for only four years. Some touch of fate, some hand that led her to all good things she'd done, led her to our town to play. My boyfriend's cousin, a folk singer; the opening act in a small local folk series; a friend and relative who just happened to be coming to town and needed a place to crash. Who knew? Who knew where this visit would lead, how her music would touch us?

Her visit led to our own. We came to Massachusetts to see her play, and again to Vermont, and many times after that. We stayed with her and stayed up late, drinking wine and watching her husband's movies, talking about music, hearing her daughter play the violin, talking about family, walking to the edge of Lake Champlain with her and their dog, cooking acorn squash....so many little things, so little time...

...but the thought that keeps returning, the untangible element that my mind keeps returning to when I am reminded that we will never see Rachel again, is the love she had with her husband and family. It is difficult to explain...you might have a chance to understand if you can hear it in her songs. It was something you just knew, you just saw, you just felt when you were in her presence, and especially in the presence of her with her husband, or with her children. It is the kind of love that we all wish we could have, the kind we all seem to search for and few of us seem to find. That is the part of our loss that is the most unbearable.

...but even with that thought, it is hard to stay sad for long. Listen to her music, her happiest music. Somehow the sadness stops, even if for just a moment, when that happiness and brightness and light of hers shines through. Rachel is here now. I think we can all feel that.

When we drove away from the services on Wednesday, as the sun went down, and the moon came up, we all knew that every single person driving home that night saw that moon. It was huge, and bright, and reflecting off of the snow, and there could not have been a more beautiful night for Rachel.

I truly want to thank all of you who've left your condolences regarding our loss of our cousin. If you haven't already, please take a few minutes to visit her website, listen to a few songs, or buy a CD. She will live on through her music, and she will touch your heart as well.


Sun goes down, moon comes up,
lighting the earth just enough
to see my face looking up
at her full size on the horizon.
Mama did her best, it's true...
Papa, too.

Now they're gone, I'm on my own,
moon will see me safely home.
As I drive this road alone,
She will bathe me in white light, in white light.

Sun comes up, moon disappears,
but she'll be back later on, my dears.
Tonight she'll shine with a little less light,
but with all her might.
I pushed a boy up to the world,
Now he wears a uniform...

I bore a son, my only one,
moon will see him safely home.
As he walks his path alone,
she will bathe him in white light, in white light.

It's time to go, I hope you know,
moon will see you safely home.
As you live your life alone,
she will bathe you in white light, in white light,
In white light.