I'm the only one left in my office. Everyone else has gone home early.

Any normal person might ask, "So what the heck are YOU doing there?"

For some reason, now, I have the urge to write. No particular topic, really, just a feeling that it's something I should do. The past few months have been more of an internal reflection period than a time of action. Considering that I MAY tend to act hastily at times, I suppose I shouldn't find anything wrong with that. Sooner or later, though, it's going to be time for some action.

I've finally, FINALLY put some things into motion to finish this damned degree. Please do not ask me how many years it's taken, it is truely embarrassing. But I guess for the first time I'm looking my procrastination in the eye, with a growing desire to rip off it's balls, stick it's head in the toilet, dunk it through the poop a couple of times and fling it out the 113th floor of the closest tall building I can find from this fair podunk town. I don't even know what I'll do with it (the degree, not the procrastination) when I'm done. At this point I just don't want it hanging over my head anymore.

I think one of the problems over the past few years is that even though I know the things that make me happy, I am much too idealistic and too much of a believer in fate and chance, so I tend to think that the things I want will just come to me one day. The procrastination on my part is just a result of past experience, because I truly believe many things I've wanted HAVE come to me with little effort on my part. I wouldn't consider it being lucky or blessed, more just...how things go. I know all this may sound selfish, ignorant or just plain crazy. I know it takes hard work and dedication to reach your goals. I'm just better with that in short term situations, but if you tell me it's going to take years and years just to reach one goal...well, it's not that I don't admire those who can do it, but I find it hard to maintain.

I'm all about the journey. The destination isn't as romantic to me as what you experience along the way.

So when I get restless, or unhappy, or yearn for some new people or experiences, it's just that the journey has become too...familiar? Slow? Something like that....
I am happier planning the trip and going for the drive...the drive IS the vacation.

And this isn't a good stopping place, but now the office is empty, it's 5:10, and I'm sitting here writing to you when I could be driving. I think there's more to this...