Dude, where's my beer?

From the Daily Collegian, our student newspaper (or so they think):

Burglary: Ten bottles of alcohol, three 12-packs of beer and several electronic items were stolen from a State College residence sometime last week, State College Police said. The crime was reported to police at about 6 p.m. Thursday. An estimated value for the electronics was not available.
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No, of course not!! But I'm sure they could tell you how much they spent on the alcohol. Ah, the hilarities of living in a college town!