Feeling Lucky?

Ooh! There are ALL SORTS of interesting news stories this morning. Let me broaden your horizons.

18ft Shark Attacks Beach Swimmer
Am I the only one who saw the Discovery Channel show on the leaping sharks at Cape Town? Where they towed fake seals behind the boats and got the sharks to leap nearly 20 ft. out of the water? Apparently they didn't show it to the locals. 77 year old ladies look alot like seals.

Man Sets Self Afire Outside White House
Really, at least tell everybody what you want before flambe-ing yourself. I mean, I'm upset about the Bush's replacing their dog so quickly, too, but it's not Miss Beazely's fault. She's a Communist.

...and my personal favorite:
Cocaine Haul Hidden In Giant Squid
For you stoners who thought it was fool-proof to hide your weed in a jar of peanut butter or a can of coffee, consider this. Even black-pepper coated frozen squid is no match for Fluffy the Stash Dog. Why don't you just drive your bus down there and deliver it yourself. Leave the real payloads for people like this to screw up.

And this just in. Teenagers Hope To Raise the Dead.
No, not Jerry. The real dead. Dabbling in alternative religions is one thing, but who convinced whom that this would work? And who was gonna mold the ashes back together? I mean, everybody knows you've got to at least start with a sturdy corpse.
Geez.

So there you go. Let another day begin, a day where the stupidity of humans is no match for the ironic justice doled out by inanimate objects. Good luck.