How To Spend October

It's an early, cloudy Saturday, and due to rain. My weekend seems to be going too fast for me already and I'm gonna try to slow it down. I really want to try and make these Fridays off as much of a me-day as possible. I don't think it's wrong to still want to spend some time by yourself even though you're married. Perhaps I need too much of it, I don't know. I've just always been almost rabidly independent and if I don't get time to do things alone I go nuts.

Of course, just to through in a little self-contradiction for the fun of it, I'm also rabidly social at times, and I don't want to miss the party. If I'm forced to sit at home knowing full well that there's good times to be had with the crowd, I feel equally as trapped. I just love being around people, I love the interaction, the drama, the crazy conversations, the friendship, the ability for groups of people as diverse as the people we know to come together and have an awesome time no matter what. And I want to be a part of that. I lost quite a few of my good friends some years ago when I let myself exist in a relationship that was as harmful as it gets, thereby alienating nearly every one of them, and I never really got them back. I don't want that to happen again.

I'm not even awake yet and this is what comes out of my head. Man. It's all about being happy with yourself. It's a delicate balance.